my dad and cousin are visiting me for a week. it's been awesome so far. yesterday, my dad was complaining about his fingernails. they were splitting and it was annoying him. i took a look at them but didn't say anything. i knew something was wrong. he has clubbed fingernails. the only thing is i don't know how long it has been like that. i don't think it was like that when i saw him last in '06. he needs to go see a doctor immediately. later on during the day, we were talking and he mentioned that this will probably be the last time he sees my grandma. he thinks she might not be around in another two years. then, he tells me that this might be the last time he sees me. he says this jokingly. it freaked me out more considering i know that something is wrong with him. i don't know if he knows something and isn't telling me or is oblivious to the symptoms he's exhibiting. i'm gonna have to make my cousin force my dad go to the doctor when they get back to illinois.

It's still hard to imagine Jimmie not being here. Each year, it gets harder and harder for me to remember what his voice sounded like, his laugh, his smile... I hate it.

My thoughts tend to drift to the times when we fought and the many regrets I still hold. I remember how his "friends" left him except for one who stuck by his side. I'd love to give those "friends" of his a piece of my mind even still to this day.

I remember Silver telling me about some of the plans Jimmy had in mind like taking me on a road trip to Mardi Gras when I turned 21.

I remember my Dad telling me he died during the night alone at the hospital. I wonder if he was frightened. I hope he died in his sleep. I don't know.

Today marks the sixteenth year you passed away. From time to time, I still feel like I did that day.

I wish you were here onii-san.

films he's directed, produced and/or wrote
the breakfast club
16 candles
weird science
ferris bueller's day off
uncle buck
planes, trains & automobiles
home alone
some kind of wonderful
pretty in pink
mr. mom
national lampoon's vacation & class reunion

i had an odd dream last night. it seemed like i was watching a movie, but live. there was a female reported going to a school. she was older. one of the boy students at the school fell in love with her. the female reporter had been disguised as a student attending the school. she was talking to a person somewhere at the school. i think she was in a bathroom. the next thing you know, the boy who loves her comes running out of the stall crying. she sees him and chases after him to talk to him. the boy was the little kid from willy wonka and the chocolate factory. the blonde hair stood out. LOL

that is the not the strange thing. like i said before, i felt like i was watching a movie. this was being held at some of my coworkers house. they were cleaning up. i saw some leftover desserts and decided to grab a cookie for the road. of course, it was chocolate chip. as i went in to grab one, i noticed that they were exctremely soft. it looked a little weird. next thing i know, my coworkers asked me if i was really going to eat it. i said yeah. i'll eat it while i'm going home. they chuckled. they told me it was a chocolate chip clam cookie. yes. i said clam. i insisted i would eat it but they took it away from me knowing i wouldn't eat it. i was very relieved when they took it out of my hands. O_o

yeah. chocolate chip clam cookie.

first farrah fawccet. micheal jackson is dead?

i wish it was money. LOL however, i found an ti 99/4a emulator. yay! *does her blues brothers happy dance*

this was my first computer. i loved it. however, mine was not silver. it was a dull off white/beige color. ^_^



http://www.ti994.com/1979/console/

my fave games were alpiner, parsec, hunt the wumpus, munchman, a-mazing, blasto and a few others.

yes. i am old. LOL it's all good. i'm enjoyin gbeing 36 now. hehehe

it has been relatively relaxing. LOL although, i did stress a bit about work since i wasn't there for an evaluation the center was going through on tuesday. i had to prepare the staff and everything before i left. so, of course i was emailing people and texting to see how the visit went. ^_^;;

i'm actually all the way out here in savannah. i've always wanted to visit ever since seeing midnight in the garden of good and evil. i really need to read the frickin' book which i've had for a while now. LMAO i'm such a procastinator. unforunately, the weather has been icky all week. it's been raining pretty much nonstop. so far, i went on one of the trolley tours around the city. after that, went walking around aimlessly looking at the old houses and buildings. i guess i have somewhat of a thing for architecture. checked out the sandgnats play last night and lose in the 12th inning. want to go on the http://americasmosthauntedcity.com tour. i loved walking through the colonial park cemetery. i can't wait to visit the bonaventure cemetery when the rain lets up. hopefully this weekend, i'm gonna hit up islands mini golf. ^_^ i've always wanted to ride in a bumper car. LOL i like miniature golf. i'm definitely gonna hit up those batting cages. the riverboats would be nice but i really can't afford those trips. maybe next time around. LOL on a couple of rainy days, i hit the theaters to check out star trek and the soloist. i was not expecting that in star trek. interesting twist. jamie foxx and robert downey jr. were awesome in the soloist. i teared up a bit at the end. i was just so happy for mr. ayers.

the only thing i am craving right now is a chocolate croissant from whole foods. so far, i haven't been able to find one of those yet. LOL

happy mother's day to all of you moms out there!!! enjoy!!!

*drools*

taeyang & top baby! hell yeah!

i like the beats to this video, too. however, just like the last video, i know some of you would enjoy the lucky position this guy is in with these ladies. LOL

i like the beats in this video. however, i had to post it b/c i'm sure there are a few of you who would enjoy watching this video for the ladies. LOL

i know some people will like this vid b/c of the girls. then again, i can't blame ya. LOL

i love the beats! *will have to get this song and play it in the car*

hell yeah! too bad i have to work in the morning. >_

goddess! i love this show!!! if you haven't seen it, you should. this episode was hilarious. sheldon rocks!

got hooked on this video. LOL

big bang theory
krod mandoon and the flaming sword of fire
legend of the seeker

i was very relieved needless to say. i think i even ended up making my dad cry. he wasn't thrilled about me having to have a colonoscopy. he was thinking about my mom going through it and ending up with colon cancer. i know he wouldn't have been able to deal with it if the same thing happened to me. he didn't even tell my grandma about the procedure. he didn't want her to worry and get her blood pressure up. i'm glad he didn't. *sighs* i know it can always be a possibility since my mom had it. i'll make sure to try my best not to let it get the best of me. ^_^

i went in for my colonoscopy. the results were good. there are no signs of colon cancer! ^_^ yay!

i finally heard from the appraiser. the car was valued at $14,020. i have a $500 deductible. after that, they'll cut a check to the lienholder and the remainder comes to me. i'm looking at $3200. plus, i should be getting $1800 from the stupid drunk driver who hit me. fuckin' rip if you ask me.

on top of that, i went to see my doctor for a check up. my blood pressure has been spiking for a few days. she had some lab work done on me to check my iron levels. however, i got a paper saying i'm still anemic but my iron is normal. she thinks that is because of the iron pills she told me to starting taking once a day since the drunk driver hitting me back in september. go figure. O_o

during my visit, she also did a quick hemoccult test and it came out positive for blood. so, she had me do a consult with a specialist this past week. next week, i go in for a colonoscopy. although, i normally wouldn't be tested for this until i'm 40, she wants me to have one since there was blood in my stool and my mom had colon cancer when she was about 53-54 years old.

when i went in for my consult, the doctor reviewed my paperwork and the symptoms i've been experiencing on and off for the past 6 months at least. he was surprised that my doctor never had me come in for a colonoscopy. no one did until the doctor i'm currently seeing now.

i go in for my procedure on thursday. i told my dad. he doesn't want me to worry. he doesn't like the idea that i have to get one. i can't blame him. it brings back bad memories and what my mom went through.

so, i'm trying to stay focused and positive that everything will be alright. it's kind of hard especially since i tend to be such a hypochondriac. all i can do for now is take it one day at a time and try not to stress myself out and get my blood pressure up.

i just got home from the emergency room. i was on my way to class tonight for my geography midterm. i was switching lanes and hit a patch of water and hydroplaned. my car ended up spinning out and flipping over. i landed upside down. to my surprise, i found myself to be calm and able to call 911 on my cellphone. i unbuckled myself and head towards the door. someone finally stopped and came over to help me. he opened my door so i could crawl out. xrays were clean. i got prescribed some muscle relaxers and pain pills. i'm pretty certain my car is totaled. *sighs* after the drunk drive who hit me, i've only had this car for 4 months. *shakes her head* now, i'm waiting for some pizza to be delivered, take some pills, and go to bed.